I never expected to be a surfer at age 50. The beginning is like a tsunami, turbulent and confusion are everywhere. Friends and loved ones are all around you and we have rituals that help us cope in the early days. Most of this is a blur for us Widows, a storm to endure. In the beginning it seems to take all your effort just keep your head above water. The waves of grief just keep coming. There is a fog everywhere, nothing seems clear. Be kind to yourself, the waves will lessen. I am approaching the two-year mark, yes my heart still aches. Losing the love of your life is not something that can be explained. You are not a member of this club until you are. If you are a member, I am sorry, I understand and welcome you. We understand each other, us Widows. The waves of grief are different for us all. The time you take to move through them is truly your own. Be where you are. There is no skipping steps, or going around. This is a storm you have to go through. Know that there will be ebbs and shifts, these are not good or bad, they just are. ~~I believe love is why we are here. Grief is the price for having loved,and I am forever grateful that I had love.